


Remains

by writingcreature



Series: The-Aftermath-Series [9]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Episode Related, Grief/Mourning, H50 episode 9.10 additional scenes, M/M, Partners in Crime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-18 10:22:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16993224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingcreature/pseuds/writingcreature
Summary: Additional scenes for episode 9.10. Timeframe: Joe White post-mortem. This is about Steve and Danny. Like so many other episodes in s8 and s9, this is another one that left a shallow taste. Another pivotal episode that left Steve totally devastated and without the man on his side, who means the world to him, Danny. I don't say I have the perfect solution. I just wanted to set some things straight and find a more or less smooth transition to what is lying ahead.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Huge THANK YOU to @bgharison who had my back once more for this one.

Danny sat in his car and stared out of the window. He was about to turn the key and fire up the engine. Instead, he dropped his hand and let out a big sigh. The past few days had been emotionally draining. He ran a hand across his face, as if this could help make his gloomy thoughts go away. 

From the moment Adam had called Danny and told him in telegram style about what had happened at Steve's house until the moment Joe White closed his eyes forever at a ranch in Montana nobody ever heard of, he'd been on the worst emotional rollercoaster ride of his entire life. And if it hadn’t been for Gracie, he wouldn't have been able to hold it together. He dreaded the minutes until she went to bed, and then he locked himself up in the bathroom where he dialed Steve's number a thousand times. But for god's sake, his partner didn't answer him. He slid down the tiled wall next to the toilet into a sitting position and pounded the back of his head against the wall over and over again. He'd never felt more helpless than at that moment. No, that wasn't right. It was comparable to what he felt when he'd found out that his brother's remains had been stuffed into a barrel by fucking Marco Reyes. Yes, he'd planted a bullet into the bastard's head, but that hadn't helped him much. He didn't feel better; the pain about Matty's loss remained and would be there until he put his head to his final rest, or someone else did that for him one day. 

Danny glanced at the phone. How in the world should he survive the next few hours until he and Gracie flew back to Hawaii? Until he would see Steve again, until he was able to give him all the comfort he deserved while at the same time he'd have to bite back the disappointment and madness that was boiling underneath the surface. 

Around three in the morning, Danny woke up with a jolt with the buzzing of his phone. His neck was killing him from the awkward position in which he'd fallen asleep on the couch, and he struggled to get into an upright position to take the call. It was Steve. 

"Hi, Danny. ..orry couldn't …back …you …earlier." The connection sucked. Danny sprinted to the balcony's door. On his way, he hit his toe on the coffee table, almost fell over one of the suitcases and caught himself on a drawer. Finally, he tore the door open and got outside. "You there?" he heard Steve's voice. 

"Yes, yes, of course. It's just the connection sucks. You sound like you're calling from Mars." 

Steve made a grunting noise, "Not …far …but close. …still …Montana …way …home. …Adam called…" 

"Yes, he did. He gave me a brief rundown. I am… I don't know what to say, I am so sorry, Steven, so sorry. But I promise you, we will get that bastard. In a few hours Gracie and I…." 

The line went dead. Desperately, Danny tried to reconnect with Steve but in vain. 

The flight from Los Angeles to Hawaii lasted five hours. An endless time span for Danny whose head was pounding, and for the first time in his life, he got airsick. He was thankful to sit in an aisle seat. Two times he had to pay a visit to the toilet. Gracie started to be really worried about her dad, but he promised her, it was nothing, he just shouldn't have eaten the taco around midnight. Danny didn't want to tell her about uncle Steve. Not now, he would tell her later. It didn't help that the aircraft got into some turbulence during the descent. All in all, he survived the flight, looking pale as a sheet, and still pretending that everything was fine when he dropped Gracie at Rachel's about an hour later. 

His ex-wife wanted to invite him in, but he told her that he had to rush to the office. Danny assured her that he would have a proper talk with her another day. As usual, she shook her head and closed the door. 

Yes, he knew he should've stayed for some coffee and some words, but he'd lost enough time already. At least, that's what he felt. He hadn't been there for Steve when he'd needed him the most, and though this wasn't his fault, the guilt wore heavily on his shoulders, was about to crush him. In his mind, he played out the scenarios of his and Steve's reunion, what he would say, what he would do, but at the moment he opened the glass door to their office, his mind went blank. 

"Where is he?" Danny blurted out.  

Tani, Junior, Lou, and Adam jerked their heads in his direction unison, staring at him like he just dropped out of a spaceship. 

"What? Yes, it's me. I'm back, and I've no intention whatsoever to tear Steve's or anyone's head off. Okay?" Danny snapped. 

Tani swallowed and regained her voice first, "Hi Danny. Steve is in his office." 

Four pairs of eyes followed Danny closely as he tore the glass door to Steve's refuge open. They held their breath when Steve got up from his chair. 

The door fell shut, and after an awkward attempt, they both wrapped their arms around each other, in a brotherly bear hug. Steve was bending down over Danny and buried his face in Danny's neck.

The blond detective patted his friend's back, "It's good to see you, babe. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." 

Tears stung in Steve's eyes as he spoke, "Don't be, Danno. I'm glad you're home. I'm glad you're here." 

It was Danny who broke the embrace first and held Steve at arm's length away. He sized him up. 

With the back of his hand, Steve wiped a tear from the corner of his eye and couldn't help but give Danny a shy grin in return, asking, "What?" 

Danny huffed out a sigh and said, "Why in the world didn't you call me? Why didn't you loop me in?" 

"Danny, you were on the mainland with Gracie touring colleges. You guys were safe; there was no need to…" 

Danny took two steps back and shook his head, "Safe? You gotta be kidding me. This Hassan knew about Joe's secret hideout in Montana. He sent a hitman after you. He knew exactly when you were at home, alone. And I bet he knew about the whereabouts of all of us, the whole team. It would've been great if you looped me in so I could've been prepared if some weirdo came crashing through the door, redecorating our hotel room." Danny closed his eyes briefly and counted to ten. "Your father-daughter-argument isn't working. Grover is a dad, Tani has a brother, and Rachel and Charlie were here in Hawaii on their own." His voice was much calmer than the storm that was raging inside of him. 

Their eyes locked. Steve swallowed and darted out his tongue. "Listen, Danny. You have every right to be mad at me, but…" 

Danny cut him short, "Mad? Do I look mad? Am I yelling at you, Steven? Am I throwing things across the room and call you names?" 

Steve's Adam's apple jumped up and down while he was looking for words, "And that's what freaks me out. You're calm, Danno. Too calm. I expected one of your speeches, one of those where you ask me, 'what is the matter with you, Steven?'" He mocked his partner. "Instead, you just stand there, keeping it together. That is so not you…" He let his voice trail off. 

"It is so not me because I am disappointed, and hurt. If it wasn't for Adam thinking he owed me one for having this… this conversation with him about being divorced, no one would've called me. The other three are obviously under a mysterious McGarrett spell or whatever. I mean Junior has this SEAL gene in him, like you. But Grover and Tani. . . Gimme a fucking break." He threw his hands in the air and turned around. Steve had no idea how much effort it cost Danny not to act the exact way his partner had predicted. 

Steve hesitated, he wasn't sure what to do next. Yes, Danny had been right, but in the heat of the moment and after the intruder had beaten the crap out of him, he'd shut down. No emotions, nothing that could have interfered with logical thinking. He'd gone on autopilot. And with that, probably missed some things that he would normally have counted into the equation. God, he'd replayed all the possible scenarios that came to his mind over and over again. However, no matter what he'd done differently, someone was always losing his life. It was a game he couldn't have won. At least not yet. 

Danny startled when he felt Steve's hand heavy on his shoulder, "Joe's last words were about the sunset, can you believe that? He asked me, 'Have you ever in your life seen a sunset like that?' Just this. I mean, there were so many things left unspoken between the two of us and all he wanted to know. . ." Steve squeezed Danny's shoulder briefly, then was about to let go of him. Before he was able to remove his hand, Danny grabbed it and held it in place. 

His voice had put on a husky tone when he rose to speak, "There will never be enough time. And no matter how hard you try, there will always be a lot of question that will never be answered. A lot of words that will be left unspoken, a lot of emotions you would have to deal with and a lot of memories, good ones and bad ones, that you and this person you just lost have shared. Of course, you can share them with somebody else, but it will never be the same. You will never be the same." 

Danny turned around to face Steve, "I am sorry, I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most." 

"No, no, Danny, don't . . . I mean, I was. . ." 

Danny lifted his hand briefly to silence him, "But I am here for you now, and I promise you, I'll have your back, and we will find this bastard and God have mercy on him when we are done with him. Joe didn't die in vain; he gave his life to save yours. He's the reason you're still here. He brought you back to me, and for that, I owe him as much as you do. The whole team owes him." 

Danny's thoughts returned slowly to the here and now, to the car he was sitting in. He huffed out a breath and fired up the engine. On his way home, the daylight was fading quickly, and when he arrived, he found himself surrounded by darkness. The lamppost at the corner shed some light onto his porch. Enough to discover someone sitting in the rocking chair that Charlie and Gracie had bought him last Christmas. His senses were on full alert when he reached for his gun. Within seconds he scanned the area and looked for a possible cover. 

The person leaned forward and froze. "Danny, do me a favor and don't shoot me. As much as you probably want to do it, I beg you. . ." 

"Steven?" baffled Danny put his gun away. "What the hell is the matter with you? Thank God, I didn't shoot first and ask question later. I thought you went home to get some things done." 

He took two stairs at once and plopped into the chair opposite Steve. 

"Thanks for sparing me, pal," Steve said, a wry grin on his face. 

"You're welcome. However, what's bugging you?" Danny asked straightforward. "I might have put my cop senses to rest, but my friend-is-up-to-something-stupid-radar is pinging like crazy." 

"Geez, Daniel. Aren't I allowed to visit you?" 

"We told each other goodbye at the office, just a few hours ago. You sounded pretty clear about how you're going to spend your evening. From what I remember, it didn't include me." Danny looked at him expectantly. 

"What? Am I not allowed to have a change of heart?" Steve wiggled his eyebrows. 

"A change of heart? Really? After all these years you still think you can fool me? Me, a badass cop from Jersey with a sweet tooth? Did you really think I haven't seen the box from Carlo's, my favorite bakery in Jersey?" Danny couldn't help but started to grin from ear to ear and patted the box Steve had put on the table when he arrived. 

Steve raised his hands, "Guilty of all charges, your honor," he said and smiled back. 

But Danny's grin didn't last long. From one moment to another he changed his whole demeanor, "Spit it out. What are you going to tell me that is so. . . so awful or whatever that you try to bribe me with some local food from Jersey? You've never done that before. It is not rocket science." 

Steve tried to avoid Danny's gaze, no easy undertaking, but a veritable high-wire act, and he could feel how he was losing his inner balance. It was time to stop beating around the bush. 

Steve steepled his fingers and stared for a moment before reaching a decision.

to be continued. . .


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [](http://mycoven.net/index.php?seite=display&img=i503bnqgps)   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mahalo nui to @bgharison for betaing!

"I need to go off the grid for some time, and then I'm returning to Montana, Danny."

The blond detective jerked his head up and in Steve's direction.

"What?"

"Danny, I've been through so much the past few days, and I need some time alone. But this time I'll make sure Hassan doesn't know where I am. I already called a friend of ours to make some arrangements."

Danny got up, cursing a blue streak on his way to the door, and slammed it shut behind him. This was much more than he could take.

Steve took the food box from the table and followed Danny suit. Thank God, the door was  unlocked . But the lights were still out. Steve went over to the living room. There was enough light from outside, and so he discovered Danny sitting on the couch. He'd buried his face in his hands.

When Steve sat down next to him and touched him lightly on the shoulder, Danny  leaned away from him and raised one hand. "Don't Steven, don't. Whatever you're about to say or do, keep it. You're  always ready to take the most stupid, dumb idea to the next level. I know what you're up to. You're trying to lure the guy out. But all he would do is send more people after you. There won't be a showdown between you and him. This is not the Wild West, and you are not Doc Holiday. Hassan is a coward."

Steve spoke in a calm, soft voice when he said, "Danny, please. This is not what you think; I am not on a one-man suicide mission. I just need some time, alone."

Danny shook his head vehemently, "We will figure out something and then we will go after him. But not the other way around. You are not going to serve him your head on a silver platter, you hear me?"

"Did you listen to me, Danny?" Steve asked. "I won't go after him. I promise you. I came here to tell you that I will be going off the grid for some time. You were worried enough; I didn't want to leave  without telling you about it. And I promise you, I took every precaution that Hassan won't know where I am. However, I need your help when I am away. You have to take care of the team and to work on the cases that are coming in. We can't close down the task force. I already talked to the Governor. He agrees with me. Going off the grid would also take the heat off everyone else involved. I am sure that Hassan has to regroup his men after what went down in Montana."

"Too bad your plan didn't work out, Steven. Wouldn't it have been great going down with blazing guns?" Danny's voice sounded sarcastic, and he immediately regretted it, "Sorry, I didn't mean it that way. It is just. . . Why can't I come with you? Why do you need to be alone and who is this mysterious friend of ours who knows more than me, apparently?"

"Harry," Steve said.

"Harry? Like Harry Langford? Are you kidding me?" Danny's voice got a notch higher.

"Yep, Harry Langford. He has a private jet and knows many remote locations. And he is not on Hassan's radar."

Danny stared at an imaginary point beyond the fireplace. He didn't want to look at Steve, "And why is it that I can't come with you? And for how long will you be gone?"

Steve bit his lower lip. This conversation was much harder than he'd thought.

"I don't know Danno. I don't know. Maybe a few weeks, at least one month or so. I call you when I'm back in Montana, at Joe's ranch. I have to clear out the place and stash away his belongings."

Danny swallowed hard, "And in the meantime? What shall I do?  Twiddle my thumbs? How will I know if you're okay? What happens when you need help? I don't like this idea, Steven. In fact, I think it is bullshit. Greer is also out there somewhere lurking in the dark. You have a price tag on your head. Who tells you that Harry's friends or whoever isn't selling you out? Since when do you trust a stranger more than your own team?"

Steve let out a long breath, then said, "This has nothing to do with trust, Danno. If I stay, I fear more people will be in Hassan's crosshair. Things have heated up pretty much. I'm not ready to take the risk that someone else who's close to me could die. This is why I want to go off the grid. There are a lot of things I have to think about."

"Oh, do you?" for the first time since this conversation started, Danny looked at Steve and said, "You have no idea, what you are doing to me," his voice was a mere whisper, tears stung in his eyes.

Steve wrapped an arm around Danny's shoulder and pulled him close, "Would it have been better if I left without any further ado and left you in the dark? Or with another letter on your desk? Danny, I came here because I couldn't leave you just like that. I've done it in the past. I know. But this time. . . it is different."

"How come? What is different this time? All of a sudden you care about my feelings?" Danny wanted to know. He didn't sound convinced.

Steve closed his eyes briefly before he opened them again and said, "I always care about you. Maybe I don't show it all the time, and maybe I should tell it to you more often. When I say to you, 'I love you,' it is more than a shallow phrase. I mean it from the bottom of my heart. You mean the world to me, and I don't know what  I would do if I ever lose you . Please, Danny. . ."

"And that is the fucking reason you need to spend some time on your own? Wow. If you want me to be part of your life then let me in, Steve, don't push me away. Don't build all these walls around you. I am ready to tear them down, one after another, but at some point, it feels like fighting windmills. I am not Don  Quixote , Steven." Danny  leaned  his forehead against Steve's shoulder, "do me just one fucking favor. Whatever it is what you have on your mind, don't get killed. Promise me, you will return home. And with home I mean me. I mean us. Because if I am right, and I tend to be right more often than you think, we both carry a lot of  baggage; and we need to get rid of it. "

Steve's jaw worked while he was looking for words. Following an impulse, he put his arms protectively around Danny's shoulders and Danny snuggled closer. The warmth of his body seeped through Steve's shirt. "God, Danny you make it hard for me to leave," Steve said hoarsely.

"Mission accomplished," Danny chuckled.

"You are such a stupid little oaf," Steve complained, and put a kiss on Danny's hair, "Am I smelling peach? Are you using a peach shampoo?"

"Why does it matter what shampoo I am using?" Danny mumbled.

"Nothing, it's just. . . I like the smell of it." Steve replied.

"Awesome," Danny deadpanned.

Silence fell across the room. Both just sat there. Neither of them wanted to move, and yet, Steve knew he would have to leave soon. His heart tightened in his chest because he suddenly realized that Danny Williams meant everything to him. What he felt for him went so much deeper than anything he'd ever felt before in his life for any other person. Unfortunately, his timing sucked. Steve knew he would be gone by tomorrow morning. Danny stirred next to him and tore him from his thoughts.

"Hey, Danno," Steve said in a low voice and nudged him gently.

It took some time until the fog in Danny's brain lifted. He sat up straight, let out a jaw-splitting yawn and rubbed his eyes. Steve followed his friend's every move. "God, you are so perfectly imperfect," he muttered.

"And you are still an animal, but obviously I have a hunch for strays." Danny turned his head to look at Steve, all sleepy-eyed and gave him a toothy grin that didn't last long and way too soon the blond detective got back to the topic, "I hope you have a plan or at least something that comes close to it?"

Dark shadows crossed Danny's features, whatever it was that had lingered between them, it was gone.

"I thought you  guys could throw a school of red herrings across my trail to mislead Hassan and his disciples, and also Greer and keep them busy chasing ghosts. It will give me enough time to get some things done and to set up a proper trap."

Danny was about to interrupt Steve when the latter held up his hand, "Before you do the Rumpelstiltskin, relax. I won't be the cheese in the trap. Don't worry. I've learned my lesson well. If it didn't work once,  it  wouldn't work on the second attempt either. We have to be subtler. And that is the reason I can't do this without you, without the team."

"And Mr. MI6 will be the messenger," Danny retorted.

"Yep, and you know what they say… don't kill the messenger. Harry gets us some spy equipment. Highly encrypted burner cells, and stuff like that." Steve sounded almost cheerfully.

"Why do I have the feeling that you are enjoying this whole thing a bit too much? I mean, aside from the fact that the shit hit the fan and Joe got killed? Could it be that you are carrying some sort of death wish with you? Or is it one of those "SEAL things" I don't get, no matter how often you're explaining it to me?" As Danny's voice had put on the no-nonsense-tone, Steve knew his friend wasn't joking.

"I'm still standing which means I’ve survived – so far - but a lot of people I’ve known and loved did not. Given our job, you know that we are putting our lives on the line every single day. You told me not too long ago that you'd rather die from a bullet than from the stress we had with the restaurant. Didn't you?  Don't worry Danny, I have no secret death wish. I want to stay alive. I want to stay alive for you and for a future where we can grow old together."

"You still remember my silly hallucinations, babe?" Danny sounded surprised.

Steve put his hand on Danny's cheek and stroked it softly with his thumb, "Of course I remember it, Danny. Every single word. I have no idea how you could come up with such a peaceful, heartwarming experience while I felt your life draining from your body."

"It was probably the side effect of your finger inside of me?" Danny suggested a wry grin on his lips.

Steve barked out a laugh. He was thankful that his friend kept his humor even in times like these. He took a look at the clock above the fireplace. In a few hours, he would be gone. It wasn't the first time he'd left for good. And like all the other times he had his reasons. But it was undeniable that it had never felt that hard before. Steve turned his head to meet Danny's gaze. Their eyes locked.

"I..." Danny put his forefinger on Steve's lips to shush him and said, "I know. And when you're back, I'll be there for you. Promised."

Danny got up from the couch, took Steve's hand in his and lead him to the bedroom without further ado. Steve let it happen, and later, when their clothing was scattered on the floor, and their naked bodies met for the first time each touch and each moan felt familiar like it had always been that way. Like it was meant to be. . . 

**The End**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't miss out the upcoming fanfic SCARRED (not related to this plot) 
> 
> [](http://mycoven.net/index.php?seite=display&img=i501by678k)  
>   
> _SCARRED starts where episode 9.10 ended. It shows how Steve deals with the aftermath of the shootout and Joe’s death up to the point where Steve and Danny are reunited._  
>  Inspired by the promotional pics for H50 episode 9.11 my muse went into overdrive. It’s going to be an emotional and dark rollercoaster ride. However, Steve is determined to take this challenge, no matter what it takes. Join him! - Soon on AO3!
> 
> Thank you so much for taking the time and reading. Comments and Kudos appreciated :o)

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and thoughts appreciated.


End file.
